Live Abuse Free
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'If only I could show you, when you are lonely and in darkness, the astonishing light of your own being'
Hafiz
If You've Been Abused
...you may be experiencing some of the following:
A distorted self image that makes you super hard on yourself
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Uncertainty about whether your feelings are valid or whether there's something wrong with you
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A lack of confidence in your ability to set boundaries
Recurring memories or thoughts that upset you
Limited self-belief in one or more areas of your life
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Feeling highly sensitive and easily hurt
Confusion about what you want from life and who you really are
Self sabotage, perfectionism and difficulty in motivating yourself
Distrust in people or trusting people quickly but then finding you feel betrayed or your expectations aren't met
Anxiety and avoidance
Guilt as a reflex reaction
People pleasing and putting others' needs before your own.
ABOUT ME
I have a BSc (Hons) in Psychology from the University of Wales, Bangor and I have a post graduate diploma in Integrative Counselling and another in Counselling Psychology from London Metropolitan University. I have worked in secondary care for the NHS and privately, giving therapy to individuals suffering from bereavement, depression, anxiety and sexual dysfunction, and I have run therapy groups and worked individually with people with short term memory loss from frontal lobe damage. I've also trained and worked as an ABA therapist with children with Autism. I have done extensive research on narcissism, and other Cluster B personality disorders and the effects of abuse, initially for my own healing, and since then, to help others.
I have found this area of psychology to be very meaningful for me and I now work as a coach, specifically with adults who have experienced narcissistic abuse, using an integrative approach (elements of CBT, Person Centred, Psychodynamic and Schema therapies as well as mindfulness practices and NLP).
Having experienced narcissistic abuse myself, I am in a privileged position to 'get it'. This means I can validate the feelings you have, and help you to feel understood in a very real way.
COACHING AND COURSES
Please fill in the contact form at the bottom of the page if you would like to enquire about coaching and I can let you know of any current or upcoming availability.
I will be running group courses in 2023, to help people to heal from narcissistic abuse. It will involve weekly group online sessions, where I'll go through exercises with you and give you homework. If you want to know more, please fill in the contact form below and I'll get in touch.
TESTIMONIALS
From Clients and Viewers
Rebecca, New Zealand
'Hi Zoe! Just wanted to let you know after our last session I went straight to work, but about an hour later I was feeling this lightness in my body/face, I felt like I even looked different (I even took a photo! (attached)) - it is such a weight being lifted…
Look forward to talking soon,'
'Working with Zoe has been such a special and fulfilling experience for me. It took me years to progress through healing from my ex narcissist. Finding Zoe helped me with the processing I needed. She has an in-depth understanding of narcissistic personality disorder at an intellectual level. She is exceptionally good at helping to disentangle where you’re getting stuck. Most importantly I didn’t feel judged or embarrassed. I often do when speaking about my experience since many years had passed and it was still affecting me so much. It’s liberating to find a professional you can trust who you can bare your soul to. I would recommend Zoe to anyone who’s faced a traumatic relationship in their life.'
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Jenny, USA
'Hi. I am the director of psychology at a large New York City psychiatric institution where we treat many clients remanded due to appalling crimes. Despite a huge and growing literature on PD, I often still find myself craving more nuanced and thoughtful discussions and feel a little isolated re identifying, discussing, and working with such clients. Clinical NPD and sociopathy are so slippery and hard to unpack in realtime. I don’t actually find even MD and PhD level doctors are well versed in any but BPD. I really admire your thoughtfulness and clinical acumen. Despite many bright, talented opinions and researchers being out there, your analysis and reflectivity resonates most strongly with what I have observed in my clinical experience and although I never do this, I did want to reach out and give you my appreciation for what a very good clinician I think you are, and what a good teaching tool your videos have been for me and my students.'
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Dr Shari Axelrod, USA
Ellen, USA
'I highly recommend working with Zoe if you have experienced narcissistic abuse and want to further your understanding of it. Although I was skeptical of some of her suggested visualization and role play exercises, I went along for the ride, trying to be open. To my surprise, I found the exercises to be powerfully helpful because of the depth of Zoe's ability to direct the process and flow beyond a superficial exercise. She interjected verbal direction and prompts that brought me further into the experience, safely. The visualization and schema disruptions actually helped me to dislodge a bunch of traumatic garbage in my head. It was deeply cathartic.
Zoe is very skilled at providing a rational, intelligent interpretation of otherwise distorted and emotionally charged memories and experiences. Her tone of voice is soothing and measured, and she expertly picks up on subtle things that are said, bringing seemingly disparate details together with excellent discernment. Her insights are deeply wise, and informed by a thorough understanding of narcissistic abuse and it seems to me, probably developmental psych, and cognitive behavioral techniques. She is able to provide insightful rational clarity while also conveying genuine warmth and compassion so that the exploration of the past trauma is coupled with a strong underpinning of support. In my experience it is rare to find someone who is intellectually precise, as well as warm and emotionally intelligent. Zoe is both. I certainly never expected on line SKYPE "sessions" to carry such weight and to be so helpful. I found that a significant amount of the charge and pain of the past crazy narc experience was released, healed, and calmed. New perspective was gained on old traumatic material. There was even much needed humor in the process, that furthered a healthier, healing perspective.'
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'As a professional who has worked with victims of crime, abuse and domestic violence for many years and as a professor who teaches victimology, your video is, in my opinion, on point and focuses on the key issues. Your thorough analysis gleans much insight into this horrific crime and helps others to begin to understand the incomprehensible. Thank you for the time and dedication you devoted to doing this and for sharing your knowledge and insights.'
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Karen Bune, USA
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'I found your advice so helpful. You seemed to have a real insight into my situation when it comes to parenting with a difficult ex. I’d definitely recommend you to anyone who might be in a similar position.'
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Kate, UK
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'Suddenly there was a shift in my thoughts and now I’m not so sad. As soon as I felt this lift it’s like X knew and he called me but I was asleep so now I will block him. Weird these narcs know when you’ve turned a corner! I want to thank you for your help. Would love to chat again can do any time...
Thanks a million Zoe! I couldn't have done this without you! '
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Carley, UK
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Bree A, USA
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'Hi, I’ve watched several of your videos. I have been a therapist for 14 years. I have learned so much from you both professionally and personally. Your videos are brilliant! Thank you for sharing your knowledge. Again, your work is brilliant and eye opening. Keep it up! Sincerely, '
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'It was lovely to talk to you! Thank you so much for following up with an email. I’ve read the paragraph about boundaries three times! It’s a new way of thinking for me and I am excited : ) It also felt like I was going in circles with my reasoning when we were speaking; that realization and your observations have given me a lot to sit with. I’m surprised how teary I got during and after our talk. Your empathy, kindness and, even though we just met, I could feel love, makes me realize I need more of that in my life. It would be lovely to speak again, the 20th would be fine.'
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Stephanie, UK'
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'Thank you so much for all your all your help and incredible insight over the last few months. You have opened my eyes to so many things that I never understood about my past. Your thought-provoking comments and explanations cause me to reflect deeply and ready myself for our next meeting. Although there is more work to do, I have felt more at peace the last few weeks than I have felt in many years. Both our sessions and your wonderful videos have been a God send to me and my siblings. I so look forward to our next session!'​
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Anne-Marie, USA
'Thank you so much for speaking to me today and for your emails. After our call I felt like something lifted and just felt a bit ‘lighter’ if that makes sense! I’ll definitely be in touch in the future.'
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Jodie, UK
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Maria Knickerbocker, USA
'Hi Zoe, I just watched your video on Meghan and Harry. I think it was one of the best videos I have seen on dealing with narcissistic families. I am interested in taking the class. I am a social worker in the US in New York State. I work with children, families and adults living in poverty. Your videos help me both personally and professionally. I talk about your channel with colleagues and share your channel. Thank you and I am so glad you're back!'
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'Hi Zoe, Thank you so much for listening to my story and taking me on as a client. After a few consultations I can say that you’ve already helped me immensely. You can spot what others can’t. I felt comfortable talking to you because you are absolutely non judgemental. That is super important being someone who constantly feels judged. You make it comfortable for me to talk about the things I’m afraid of talking about with others. Your relaxed vibe is really nice and welcoming when talking about sensitive subjects. I’m looking forward to our next consultation.'
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Jordan, USA
'I thought you would be horrified by the things I admitted, my anger and rage especially, and you were not. Your face never changed or body posture! I am deeply ashamed about my anger and rage and occasional very violent thoughts and outbursts which I do everything to contain. I never felt judged by you, simply your 'unconditional positive regard'. You were kind and non judgemental and I thank you for that.'
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Helen, UK
'I think we are making good progress — I feel it’s having a positive effect on my life. I have never felt more self aware of the traits that we are trying to navigate together....I cannot say enough about how appreciative I am to have had the opportunity to work with you these past few months. You are brilliant and thoughtful and I’ve been truly fortunate. '
Jay, USA
Vanessa, USA
'I have come so far from where I was 6 months ago. You validated thoughts I had and gave me so many more to think about. There is so much more I could say but the most important is THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!'
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